..What exactly is compassion fatigue syndrome?!

This is where it all starts…for me anyway. Hopefully, you will pick up on things that you find familiar and start looking at your own situation. Together we can do this journey.

So, what exactly is ‘compassion fatigue syndrome’?

It has become known as a secondary traumatic stress disorder. A consequence of stress , resulting from caring and helping traumatized or suffering people or animals. (I shall be concentrating on people but you can see how generic this is and how wide it spreads within a caregiving situation.)

Compassion fatigue displays symptoms of chronic stress/burn out from caring for others.The following is a quick list of the symptoms which will appear for the individual. Some maybe more apparent than others….

Excessive moaning, bottled up emotions, isolating yourself from others, begin to receive an unusual amount of complaints from others, begin to complain about administration, substance abuse to mask feelings, compulsive behaviours eg: overspending over eating, gambling etc, poor self care(hygiene, appearance), legal problems and debt, recurrence of flashbacks or nightmares to a traumatic event, chronic ailments, sadness, loss of concentration, mentally and physically tired, constant chronic illness/pain.

Any of those feel familiar? They are for me. Not all of them but I do recognise quite a few in the list.

The intriguing part is, they are all for the individual, however, it then has a knock on effect into the structure of the workplace and this is where I have had an ‘ooooo, yes, I can see it ‘ moment. Sadly, the organization wouldn’t recognise it….maybe, if they took a step back and looked in, they would be able to see it.

Just for your curiosity here are a few ways it can affect the workplace…

.High absenteeism• Constant changes in co-workers relationships• Inability for teams to work well together• Desire among staff members to break company rules• Outbreaks of aggressive behaviors among staff• Inability of staff to complete assignments and tasks• Inability of staff to respect and meet deadlines• Lack of flexibility among staff members• Negativism towards management• Strong reluctance toward change• Inability of staff to believe improvement is possible• Lack of a vision for the future.

Once again, the bigger picture becomes clearer, which is why it seems appropriate and important to recognise compassion fatigue. It is for our own interest, the interest of the workplace and the ability to carry on the quality of care required for each individual

Here is a little insight to how I have now recognised, to be the tipping point for me.

At the time when it happened and when I originally wrote about it, I was unaware of Compassion Fatigue....

“Doesn't happen does it? Not in a job you love doing, surely? Is it an 'off' day, are you just tired or is it 'just one of those days'!!!!!

Stress is a tough one to admit is happening to you. Especially, when you dedicate yourself to others. You see yourself as being strong because you take on board the worries and concerns of those you meet. However, at some point it can find a way of grabbing you and pinning you down so you feel you have no strength to carry on let alone pick yourself up and climb out of the abyss you suddenly find yourself in.

This is how it happened for me -I had been in visit to care for someone who had recently had a stroke. The visit went smoothly and on this occasion one of my bosses had come out to see how things were progressing. Once the visit had finished, notes recorded and goodbyes bid, we were outside by our cars and I was asked, 'so, how are you?'That was all it took. Tears, straggled sentences, bottom lip shuddering and my shoulders curling in because all I wanted to do was roll up in a ball. Straight away my boss was on the phone to get cover for the rest of my visits that morning. (I appreciated the decision but it didn't stop me thinking of the people I would be letting down, the extra calls the programmers would have to make pretty sharpish, the extra workload put on the rest of the team...the pressure just increased!!!) I soon found myself in the office, still blubbering and trying so hard to keep smiling because that was what I was known for but I'm sure the expressions my saturated face were making would've got me first place in a 'gurning' competition!!(You see, even as I write this I have to try and add a bit of humour best I can, it’s my coping mechanism!) Carrying on...By lunchtime I had offloaded to a very dear friend who understood fully and I had been signed off by my GP for 10days for stress/depression. I declined the offer of tablets to help me but had decided to have 10days of just 'me' time.

During that time I allowed myself to feel miserable, pitiful and as I always seem to do whenever something like this happens, I managed to talk myself into the gutter being homeless, out of a job, on my own because of pride, useless and the dangerous thought for me is, I'm the common factor in all this upset I should step aside and be out of everyones way.

When it gets to that point I have learned that it is time to have a cup of tea and start to build myself back up. I can't get much lower and no one can make me feel any worse than I already do, so it's upto me to make that change.

One of the things I've learned over the years is that sometimes you want the world to 'freezeframe' just so you can catch your breath and gather yourself. Once that’s done the world can start moving again. Freezeframe doesn't happen, but I close my eyes, become peaceful and find that place to rest, recognise and regain strength. Then, for me, I can carry on.

I remember reading somewhere once that when life around you becomes too much and you don't know where to start or what to deal with first, imagine you have entered an office with a big desk and files, folders, books, stacked up so high you just don't know what to do. It all needs to be dealt with but you are overwhelmed by the enormity of the job in hand. Keep looking at the desk but walk away, the further you get the smaller the stacks look and you realise, ok, it’s not so bad, I can deal with this and I shall start...here. You are on track and you are on a mission to get it sorted and what a great feeling it is once the desk is clear!!!!

I do tend to allow myself, even now, to recognise when I'm having a 'bad' day.I seperate myself from what I am feeling and have a little chat. It tends to go something like this...' a tough day uh? This is the deal, cry and blubber and be fed up for 24hrs. Tomorrow you will be stronger and refreshed and you can welcome what the wonderful world has to offer you. You will be fine and yes , you do matter and you do make a difference.'

Have a look at those symptoms again and when you manage o find a quiet moment,go over your own situation.

This is a time to begin the healing.

xxxx

#stress #burnout #compassionfatiguesyndrome #isolation #stressintheworkplace #caregivingstress